Christmas blog
Christmas blog
The terrible Christmas blog
Oh what crap
It is I write
Every single year
Sam D Grover
(To the tune of Jingle Bells)
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Jebus
There is a religion whose very existence risks the well-being of many people on this planet. This religion holds sway over many of the most wealthy and powerful individuals in the world, and drives many of their most impacting decisions. This religion is racist, prejudiced, and brazenly hypocritical. This religion removes the worth of the individual, replacing it with guilt and dogma.
This religion is what I like to call "Jebusism" (/ˈdʒi:bəs.ɪz.əm/).
This religion, like many faiths, was named by an outsider: "Christians" were named thus by the Roman citizens of Antioch; Muslims were known for centuries by Europeans as "Mohammedans." Jeebusism was named by Homer Simpson, inadvertently. Jebusism bares many similarities to Christianity, though with most of Jesus' teachings ignored.
Rather unusually for a religion, it shares its holy text with another faith - this is unlike Christianity and Judaism, in that while Christians see the Jewish writ as sacred, Jews see the Christian "New Testament" as the writings of a few 1st Century heretics. With Christianity and Jebusism, however, the two share the same holy book in its entirety - Jebusism, however, mostly employs an archaic version of this book, one crudely translated into 17th Century English. Jebusismists refer to this version (which, to be fair, is a fine piece of poetic literature) as the true accurate version, with some even claiming that the highly popular (among Christians) New International Version (or "New Inaccurate Version" as some Jebusismists call it) is an evil book, or perhaps a test sent by their deity, Jebus.
Ah, Jebus. A dark God like the world has never seen. According to the priests of Jebusism, Jebus hates gays, believing that they should all be killed. Jebus hates foreigners, especially Arabs, but also looks unfavorably on Blacks, Mexicans, and Koreans. Jebus loathes Communists, particularly because of their desire to elevate the poor (whom Jebus also hates). Jebus almost certainly hates you. Jebus will one day take up all his loyal followers into the sky, and burn the hippies, public homosexuals, Catholics, and those who only went to church one week out of every four in an eternal lake of fire. He will enjoy doing this.
Jebusism started in Europe, with its first great manifestation being the Crusades. Later, the Spanish Inquisition can be seen as the point at which Jebusismists turned against Christianity. "Bloody" Mary I of England was almost certainly a Jebusismist. True modern Jebusism, however, can be found centered in the southern United States, specifically in the region known as the "Bible Belt" (see below).
The "Bible Belt", the main catchment area for Jebusism
Sam D Grover
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Stuffed Orangutangs & Rearranged Joshua Trees
We got a kitten about 6 weeks ago (more or less). Shortly after we got her, I discovered that if you make a scratching noise on a worktop, sofa, table, carpet etc. she'll come running, looking for mice or sparrows or iguanas or something.
Yesterday, I found an old stuffed orangutang (not taxidermy, a toy). I started t̶e̶a̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶a̶u̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ playing with her using the artificial ape, in the hopes that she'd go for it. She did! Success. (By the way, she just knocked my coffee dregs onto the carpet while trying to kill the toy. Backfire.) Later on, I made a scratching noise on the sofa behind the orangutang a few times. I think, though I may be wrong, that she now associates the weeks of mysterious scratching with this orangutang that is rapidly becoming her nemesis.
I'm curious as to where this association will end up - if she hears a scratching in the future and it turns out to be a mouse, will she be disappointed by the lack of ape? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
_________
Something's been annoying me for a while now. This irritation has been taking something I really rather love and tainting it. This annoyance is now here finally being adressed.
The running order of U2's brilliant album The Joshua Tree is absolutely appalling.
The way the band came to the order that we're familiar with was also appalling: they were stuck and gave it to a friend and just went with what the friend decided.
The method the friend used was appalling: they put the songs in order from most to least favourite.
Enough judging; onto solutions.TM
OK so basically I was listening to Joshua Tree last night, and started with Bullet the Blue Sky for some mad reason. Hearing this song straight off the bat without my ears being first tempered by Streets, ISHFWILF, and With or Without You was amazing. As the album went on, I was astonished by how differently I was hearing the tracks having skipped the first three on the album. This reminded me of my running order annoyance, and I decided to get on the case.
My problem with the running order does mostly come from the first three tracks. These songs are all clearly single material, with a similar sound. It's never really made much sense to me at all that these three songs a) opened the album and b) were all lumped together. The current order, with these big songs all at the front, makes perfect sense for a concert set list, but I don't really like it as in an album.
OK enough blathering; here's my alternative thingummy. Forgive my arrogance.
Streets is an interesting track, as, with the long opening synth, it can only really work as an album opener or closer - the slow intro would be a weird break mid-album. Even though I put it last out of necessity, Edge's jangly guitars do make for a great end to the album, and bookending the album with anger and optimism is quite effective, I think.
Try it! Listen to the album in that order, then thank or lambast me accordingly.
_________
Oh bugger, I arrogantly pretentious'd all over my blog again. At least the kitteh nonsense salvages it a bit. I think?
Sam D Grover
Yesterday, I found an old stuffed orangutang (not taxidermy, a toy). I started t̶e̶a̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶a̶u̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ playing with her using the artificial ape, in the hopes that she'd go for it. She did! Success. (By the way, she just knocked my coffee dregs onto the carpet while trying to kill the toy. Backfire.) Later on, I made a scratching noise on the sofa behind the orangutang a few times. I think, though I may be wrong, that she now associates the weeks of mysterious scratching with this orangutang that is rapidly becoming her nemesis.
I'm curious as to where this association will end up - if she hears a scratching in the future and it turns out to be a mouse, will she be disappointed by the lack of ape? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
_________
Something's been annoying me for a while now. This irritation has been taking something I really rather love and tainting it. This annoyance is now here finally being adressed.
The running order of U2's brilliant album The Joshua Tree is absolutely appalling.
The way the band came to the order that we're familiar with was also appalling: they were stuck and gave it to a friend and just went with what the friend decided.
The method the friend used was appalling: they put the songs in order from most to least favourite.
Enough judging; onto solutions.TM
OK so basically I was listening to Joshua Tree last night, and started with Bullet the Blue Sky for some mad reason. Hearing this song straight off the bat without my ears being first tempered by Streets, ISHFWILF, and With or Without You was amazing. As the album went on, I was astonished by how differently I was hearing the tracks having skipped the first three on the album. This reminded me of my running order annoyance, and I decided to get on the case.
My problem with the running order does mostly come from the first three tracks. These songs are all clearly single material, with a similar sound. It's never really made much sense to me at all that these three songs a) opened the album and b) were all lumped together. The current order, with these big songs all at the front, makes perfect sense for a concert set list, but I don't really like it as in an album.
OK enough blathering; here's my alternative thingummy. Forgive my arrogance.
- Bullet the Blue Sky
- Exit
- Running to Stand Still
- Red Hill Mining Town
- With or Without You
- Mothers of the Disappeared
- In God's Country
- I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
- One Tree Hill
- Trip Through Your Wires
- Where The Streets Have No Name
Streets is an interesting track, as, with the long opening synth, it can only really work as an album opener or closer - the slow intro would be a weird break mid-album. Even though I put it last out of necessity, Edge's jangly guitars do make for a great end to the album, and bookending the album with anger and optimism is quite effective, I think.
Try it! Listen to the album in that order, then thank or lambast me accordingly.
_________
Oh bugger, I arrogantly pretentious'd all over my blog again. At least the kitteh nonsense salvages it a bit. I think?
Sam D Grover
Friday, 16 September 2011
Stories & Lies
I think the key to being a good writer is to be a good liar. All stories are lies, some more convincing than others.
The key to a good lie is balance.
When telling a lie, detail is crucial - if your lie is vague and insubstantial, no-one will believe a word of it. Names, places, times - all of these must be established, else the lie falls apart. On the other hand, if you present a lie overburdened with detail - exact times, unimportant persons, and other minutiae - these irrelevances will sink the lie. Either the liar will come across as trying to hard, and so the spell shall be broken, or one of the multitude of facts will be contradicted or forgotten along the way, leaving a hole immediately filled with disbelief. Balance!
People want the world to work a certain way. The best liars are the most effective at motivating this desire, but again there is a balance in this manipulation. If the lie is exactly what those being lied to want or expect to hear, They'll get suspicious at the way the liar's story is adhering so exactly to their expectation, at the fact that, even though this is what they wanted, it was not the lie they needed to hear for them to believe. A lie too far-removed from expectation, however, is also going to fail. The listener will meet a version of the world that contradicts with one inside their head - yes, reality does often contradict the world we hold in our heads, but not in overly dramatic way. When people in a lie act in a way that the listener believes that they do not, again suspicion is raised. Balance!
Linked to the previous point, lies cannot be too like or unlike life. When a lie completely diverts from reality, the deception will be made obvious - if you say that a gorilla stole your car, then it's pretty clear that you're lying. Even if you're slightly more subtle, and the lie merely departs completely from events as they were, without becoming ridiculous, the realism is lost and the absence of truth will be noted. However, a lie must never be completely devoid of the fantastic - a lie that is too close to the events as they happened will be seen as just slightly off by the listener, and so bee seen as an untruth. Balance and also balance, too.
Stories. Too much information, too many events, the reader is swamped. Too little, the story is hollow. Too run-of-the-mill, the reader is bored. Too trope-less, the reader is uneased and confused. Too removed from reality, the reader sees the fiction in the story. Too like-life and the suspension of disbelief is broken. Can you say, "balance?"
I swear I had a point in all of this, but it's now twenty-five past two in the morning and my brain is rebelling against consciousness.
Sorry I wrote this guff*
Sam D Grover
*Haha, jokes. I'm AMAZING, all I do is pure gold. No apologies, no prisoners, no surrender!
GSF4LIFE
The key to a good lie is balance.
When telling a lie, detail is crucial - if your lie is vague and insubstantial, no-one will believe a word of it. Names, places, times - all of these must be established, else the lie falls apart. On the other hand, if you present a lie overburdened with detail - exact times, unimportant persons, and other minutiae - these irrelevances will sink the lie. Either the liar will come across as trying to hard, and so the spell shall be broken, or one of the multitude of facts will be contradicted or forgotten along the way, leaving a hole immediately filled with disbelief. Balance!
People want the world to work a certain way. The best liars are the most effective at motivating this desire, but again there is a balance in this manipulation. If the lie is exactly what those being lied to want or expect to hear, They'll get suspicious at the way the liar's story is adhering so exactly to their expectation, at the fact that, even though this is what they wanted, it was not the lie they needed to hear for them to believe. A lie too far-removed from expectation, however, is also going to fail. The listener will meet a version of the world that contradicts with one inside their head - yes, reality does often contradict the world we hold in our heads, but not in overly dramatic way. When people in a lie act in a way that the listener believes that they do not, again suspicion is raised. Balance!
Linked to the previous point, lies cannot be too like or unlike life. When a lie completely diverts from reality, the deception will be made obvious - if you say that a gorilla stole your car, then it's pretty clear that you're lying. Even if you're slightly more subtle, and the lie merely departs completely from events as they were, without becoming ridiculous, the realism is lost and the absence of truth will be noted. However, a lie must never be completely devoid of the fantastic - a lie that is too close to the events as they happened will be seen as just slightly off by the listener, and so bee seen as an untruth. Balance and also balance, too.
Stories. Too much information, too many events, the reader is swamped. Too little, the story is hollow. Too run-of-the-mill, the reader is bored. Too trope-less, the reader is uneased and confused. Too removed from reality, the reader sees the fiction in the story. Too like-life and the suspension of disbelief is broken. Can you say, "balance?"
I swear I had a point in all of this, but it's now twenty-five past two in the morning and my brain is rebelling against consciousness.
Sorry I wrote this guff*
Sam D Grover
*Haha, jokes. I'm AMAZING, all I do is pure gold. No apologies, no prisoners, no surrender!
GSF4LIFE
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Pontifications 'pon not much at all
What mindless effervescence can I find to distract me from my weary boredom? A man with nothing to do at least has that – nothing. I am without a verb. When the internet fails one so used to her sordid and banal pathways, what then is a man to do? What fog-like entertainment can I find to while away a Sunday evening? Too late to engage in cinema (though were there anything to watch – !), too late to even turn thoughts upon watching a teleplay. Music provides a distraction, yes, but when distraction is sought for distraction’s sake, what then? A man whose mind is too often involved in a passing mindlessness pursues a state of mindlessness in permanentia, and a mindless mind – what is that? A nothing; a wisp; a flit; a flash; a shell.... an effervescence...
SdG
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Two Draculas
When I was younger, me and my friends would play a game called, "Monster Babies of Grandma's Closet."
In primary school, this was. The premise behind the game was as follows: a group of babies manage to gain their way into grandma's (theirs or a general grandmother, I'm not entirely sure) closet. This closet (why closet? I blame the large amount of American telly we all watched) proceeded to transform each of us into monsters. Monster babies.
The way the game was played was as follows: each of us would stand in one of the many mysterious shapes that dotted our playground. (I'm sure that they were basketball court and football pitch markings, but at the time, I perceived them as both a mystery and a fact of life: there were shapes on the playground cement about which I had neither clue nor question). Having stood in said shape (or did we crawl in? I think we did, acting like babies), we would step out, acting like our chosen monster. We might be a vampire, and show our fangs; we might act a werewolf, and howl at an imaginary moon. We might even become an Egyptian mummy or a Frankenstein's monster, monsters for whom the respective actions were virtually indistinguishable: both walked stiffly, arms out, moaning.
I remember disagreements arising from this game, mainly in relation to two of us choosing the same monster.
Because two Draculas would be ridiculous.
Sam D Grover.
In primary school, this was. The premise behind the game was as follows: a group of babies manage to gain their way into grandma's (theirs or a general grandmother, I'm not entirely sure) closet. This closet (why closet? I blame the large amount of American telly we all watched) proceeded to transform each of us into monsters. Monster babies.
The way the game was played was as follows: each of us would stand in one of the many mysterious shapes that dotted our playground. (I'm sure that they were basketball court and football pitch markings, but at the time, I perceived them as both a mystery and a fact of life: there were shapes on the playground cement about which I had neither clue nor question). Having stood in said shape (or did we crawl in? I think we did, acting like babies), we would step out, acting like our chosen monster. We might be a vampire, and show our fangs; we might act a werewolf, and howl at an imaginary moon. We might even become an Egyptian mummy or a Frankenstein's monster, monsters for whom the respective actions were virtually indistinguishable: both walked stiffly, arms out, moaning.
I remember disagreements arising from this game, mainly in relation to two of us choosing the same monster.
Because two Draculas would be ridiculous.
Sam D Grover.
Saturday, 7 May 2011
The Infinite Nature of God
Let us for a moment adopt heretical presumptions - may we all become, for just a short while, blasphemers.
Let us ignore God and his existence for a moment.
Now, imagine a being who is merely God-like - a non-human being who is self-aware and non-corporeal (non-material and outside of time). This being, having restrictions of neither time nor space, would be either nowhere or everywhere. If it was nowhere, it would not exist, so it would therefore have to be everywhere.
So, this creature, this being, is omnipresent - it is everywhere at all moments and at all moments everywhere.
This being, in being everywhere and everywhen, can see the largest heavenly objects interacting, and can see the behaviour of the smallest atoms and particles and quarks in utter detail. Due to this being's omnipresence - the fact that it is everywhere and everywhen (due to its non-corporeal nature (its immateriality and immunity to time)) - it would be omniscient, it would know all. As it can see all things at all moments, nothing would be hidden from it, whether great or small, natural or of man, actual or abstract.
Now, knowing all, this being would know exactly how change anything, it would know what nudge was needed to transform one element into another, would know how to transmute a star from one galaxy to another, would be able to create a universe at will. This being would be omnipotent. Due to the being's non-corporeal nature, it would be omnipresent; and due to the being's presence throughout time and space, it would be omniscient; and due to this being knowing everything, and how to do any and everything, it would be able to do anything - it would be all powerful.
Let's admit to ourselves once again the existence of God.
Four of the most impossibly wonderful aspects of God flow on from each other: God is omnipotent because he is omniscient, omniscient because he is omnipresent, omnipresent because He is not of time or space.
Now, due to this last fact, the fact that God is timeless, comes the fact that God has always been this way - there was no flowing in the way we would or could understand it. As soon as perfection was attained, God would have always been perfect, and since He is outside of time, perfection would have been attained at the first moment of existence - but, as God is outside of time, there was no first moment of existence, and therefore God has been perfect for eternity - imperfection has never existed.
Another impossibly wonderful aspect of God flows not from any of the others. This is the fact that he is omniamorous - He is all-loving and loves all. This is one reason why I hold onto God's love so tightly, and why, for me, it is so important to see God as a God of love - the Love exists because it exists! Sweet as.
Pontificating,
Sam D Grover
Let us ignore God and his existence for a moment.
Now, imagine a being who is merely God-like - a non-human being who is self-aware and non-corporeal (non-material and outside of time). This being, having restrictions of neither time nor space, would be either nowhere or everywhere. If it was nowhere, it would not exist, so it would therefore have to be everywhere.
So, this creature, this being, is omnipresent - it is everywhere at all moments and at all moments everywhere.
This being, in being everywhere and everywhen, can see the largest heavenly objects interacting, and can see the behaviour of the smallest atoms and particles and quarks in utter detail. Due to this being's omnipresence - the fact that it is everywhere and everywhen (due to its non-corporeal nature (its immateriality and immunity to time)) - it would be omniscient, it would know all. As it can see all things at all moments, nothing would be hidden from it, whether great or small, natural or of man, actual or abstract.
Now, knowing all, this being would know exactly how change anything, it would know what nudge was needed to transform one element into another, would know how to transmute a star from one galaxy to another, would be able to create a universe at will. This being would be omnipotent. Due to the being's non-corporeal nature, it would be omnipresent; and due to the being's presence throughout time and space, it would be omniscient; and due to this being knowing everything, and how to do any and everything, it would be able to do anything - it would be all powerful.
Let's admit to ourselves once again the existence of God.
Four of the most impossibly wonderful aspects of God flow on from each other: God is omnipotent because he is omniscient, omniscient because he is omnipresent, omnipresent because He is not of time or space.
Now, due to this last fact, the fact that God is timeless, comes the fact that God has always been this way - there was no flowing in the way we would or could understand it. As soon as perfection was attained, God would have always been perfect, and since He is outside of time, perfection would have been attained at the first moment of existence - but, as God is outside of time, there was no first moment of existence, and therefore God has been perfect for eternity - imperfection has never existed.
Another impossibly wonderful aspect of God flows not from any of the others. This is the fact that he is omniamorous - He is all-loving and loves all. This is one reason why I hold onto God's love so tightly, and why, for me, it is so important to see God as a God of love - the Love exists because it exists! Sweet as.
Pontificating,
Sam D Grover
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
In which I discuss cool music stuff (and use too many brackets).
Music is entering a new and exciting phase.
The above statement is one I hope to be true. AND I HAVE EVIDENCES.
OK, I'm gonna talk to you about two things that I think are very cool. They are both projects that I feel are revolutionary in the field of musical creation. One is a collaboration between 3 musicians and an author. The other is one man's creativity expressed using new technology. Neither are conventional. One took an intense 12 hours, the other took a month of downtime.
I'm going to start with "the other," because why the face not?
'The other' is in fact the new Gorillaz album. Titled 'The Fall', this album was written and recorded between the 3rd of October 2010 and the 2nd of November of the same (hence the name - it was recorded in the fall (American for 'autumn')), during the band's North American tour.
Damon Albarn, Gorillaz' ringleader and touring veteran, wanted to make use of the gaping chasms of downtime that one (apparently) gets while on tour. So, using vocals and 21 iPad apps (as well as a guitar on two tracks and a bass&qanun on another) Mr Albarn, helped by a few friends, set about creating one of the least disappointing albums I've heard in the last year. The songs were written mostly about the town, state, or locale they were recorded in, where Gorillaz were on their tour. Annoyingly, I just noticed that the first track on the album, Phoner to Arizona, was recorded in Montreal... but anyway, the second track, Revolving Doors, was recorded in and is about Boston, and the last track, Seattle Yodel, was recorded in Seattle. &c, &c.
The amazing thing about this album is how good it is. It's not excellent, no, but I wasn't expecting studio quality. I know that seems like my previous plaudit that this was "one of the least disappointing albums I've heard in the last year" is reduced by that expectation, but this is Gorillaz. I love Gorillaz, and expect good things whenever they put out new stuff.
This album excites me because of the immediacy in which it appeared. It's a full 15 tracks, was recorded in 30 days, and I was listening to it less than 2 months after recording finished. It took a further 4 months for it to go on sale, but because of the wonderfulness that is the internet, Gorillaz were able to put it out very quickly.
Talking of immediacy and internet magics: time to move on to 'one'.
'One' is 8in8, a collaboration between Ben Folds (of Ben Folds Five and Ben Folds), Amanda F-ing Palmer (of the Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn, and Amanda F-ing Palmer) Neil Gaiman (writer extraordinaire (American Gods, Sandman, ), and Damien Kulash (of OK Go). Each of the quartet was speaking (I do beleive (fact checking is effort)) on a panel at a conference addressing the relationship between music and the internet, or something similar. Instead of just hanging around eating, drinking, and/or being merry, they decided to lock themselves in a studio for 8 hours with the intention of creating an 8-track album. One song an hour. From scratch. Neil Gaiman took on the main songwriting duties (and sang on one track), while the 3 multi-instrumentalists multi-instrumentalised. They ended up in the studio for 12 hours, producing only 6 tracks, but that is still an impressive feat.
This just went through my brain:
- only 6 tracks in 12 hours?
- yes
- well that's rubbish!
- better than your 'no tracks in no hours'
- whatever
That 'well that's rubbish' was an hypothetical response - I am genuinely blown away by what they achieved.
I spoke of immediacy and internet magics? Let's start with the second: they streamed the whole session live. I watched part of it, and it was very cool, watching art being arted. Seeing part of the creative process of these 4 very talented people was a very special experience, and a privilege attained by a select few in the past. With internet magics, however, I was, in a way, right in the middle of it all. Very cool
Immediacy! The album that between 10:45 and 12:15 last night I was watching come into being is now online for free listening and purchase by donation. I'm not sure what the turnaround was, but it can't have been much more than 12 hours from album completion to being available to buy. The vocals I was watching Amanda record for the album opener, Nikola Tesla, I have already listened to in finished form less than a day later. Jeff-arseing brilliant! So very cool.
SO, what does all this have to do with music going to exciting places? Well, it hints at the possibility of a freer creation process, a made-for-fans-delivered-right-to-fans trend, a mindset of "bugger it, let's make some music". The Fall was recorded with very little budget (if any) in a month and was available to listen for free within 2 months, yet sounds amazing. Nighty Night (the name of 8in8's album) was recorded in 12 hours, and while it shows it, is a very good selection of songs. I just saw it described as 'a lot like looking at a sketchbook' - which I suppose is what The Fall is like. One was 4 people getting together to doodle for half a day, the other was a man expressing himself over the course of a tour.
Notebook music: I hope to see more of it.
One man quite possibly talking out of his derrier for just under 1000 words,
Sam D Grover
Nighty Night can be listened to for free and purchased for a minimum donation of $1 here.
The Fall can be listened to here by signing up to the mailing list. Alternatively, it's available on Spotify. Or search iTunes or Amazon and probably some other places. Learn to find your own music, you degenerate.
I like both albums very much. Enjoy.
The above statement is one I hope to be true. AND I HAVE EVIDENCES.
OK, I'm gonna talk to you about two things that I think are very cool. They are both projects that I feel are revolutionary in the field of musical creation. One is a collaboration between 3 musicians and an author. The other is one man's creativity expressed using new technology. Neither are conventional. One took an intense 12 hours, the other took a month of downtime.
I'm going to start with "the other," because why the face not?
'The other' is in fact the new Gorillaz album. Titled 'The Fall', this album was written and recorded between the 3rd of October 2010 and the 2nd of November of the same (hence the name - it was recorded in the fall (American for 'autumn')), during the band's North American tour.
Damon Albarn, Gorillaz' ringleader and touring veteran, wanted to make use of the gaping chasms of downtime that one (apparently) gets while on tour. So, using vocals and 21 iPad apps (as well as a guitar on two tracks and a bass&qanun on another) Mr Albarn, helped by a few friends, set about creating one of the least disappointing albums I've heard in the last year. The songs were written mostly about the town, state, or locale they were recorded in, where Gorillaz were on their tour. Annoyingly, I just noticed that the first track on the album, Phoner to Arizona, was recorded in Montreal... but anyway, the second track, Revolving Doors, was recorded in and is about Boston, and the last track, Seattle Yodel, was recorded in Seattle. &c, &c.
The amazing thing about this album is how good it is. It's not excellent, no, but I wasn't expecting studio quality. I know that seems like my previous plaudit that this was "one of the least disappointing albums I've heard in the last year" is reduced by that expectation, but this is Gorillaz. I love Gorillaz, and expect good things whenever they put out new stuff.
This album excites me because of the immediacy in which it appeared. It's a full 15 tracks, was recorded in 30 days, and I was listening to it less than 2 months after recording finished. It took a further 4 months for it to go on sale, but because of the wonderfulness that is the internet, Gorillaz were able to put it out very quickly.
Talking of immediacy and internet magics: time to move on to 'one'.
'One' is 8in8, a collaboration between Ben Folds (of Ben Folds Five and Ben Folds), Amanda F-ing Palmer (of the Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn, and Amanda F-ing Palmer) Neil Gaiman (writer extraordinaire (American Gods, Sandman, ), and Damien Kulash (of OK Go). Each of the quartet was speaking (I do beleive (fact checking is effort)) on a panel at a conference addressing the relationship between music and the internet, or something similar. Instead of just hanging around eating, drinking, and/or being merry, they decided to lock themselves in a studio for 8 hours with the intention of creating an 8-track album. One song an hour. From scratch. Neil Gaiman took on the main songwriting duties (and sang on one track), while the 3 multi-instrumentalists multi-instrumentalised. They ended up in the studio for 12 hours, producing only 6 tracks, but that is still an impressive feat.
This just went through my brain:
- only 6 tracks in 12 hours?
- yes
- well that's rubbish!
- better than your 'no tracks in no hours'
- whatever
That 'well that's rubbish' was an hypothetical response - I am genuinely blown away by what they achieved.
I spoke of immediacy and internet magics? Let's start with the second: they streamed the whole session live. I watched part of it, and it was very cool, watching art being arted. Seeing part of the creative process of these 4 very talented people was a very special experience, and a privilege attained by a select few in the past. With internet magics, however, I was, in a way, right in the middle of it all. Very cool
Immediacy! The album that between 10:45 and 12:15 last night I was watching come into being is now online for free listening and purchase by donation. I'm not sure what the turnaround was, but it can't have been much more than 12 hours from album completion to being available to buy. The vocals I was watching Amanda record for the album opener, Nikola Tesla, I have already listened to in finished form less than a day later. Jeff-arseing brilliant! So very cool.
SO, what does all this have to do with music going to exciting places? Well, it hints at the possibility of a freer creation process, a made-for-fans-delivered-right-to-fans trend, a mindset of "bugger it, let's make some music". The Fall was recorded with very little budget (if any) in a month and was available to listen for free within 2 months, yet sounds amazing. Nighty Night (the name of 8in8's album) was recorded in 12 hours, and while it shows it, is a very good selection of songs. I just saw it described as 'a lot like looking at a sketchbook' - which I suppose is what The Fall is like. One was 4 people getting together to doodle for half a day, the other was a man expressing himself over the course of a tour.
Notebook music: I hope to see more of it.
One man quite possibly talking out of his derrier for just under 1000 words,
Sam D Grover
Nighty Night can be listened to for free and purchased for a minimum donation of $1 here.
The Fall can be listened to here by signing up to the mailing list. Alternatively, it's available on Spotify. Or search iTunes or Amazon and probably some other places. Learn to find your own music, you degenerate.
I like both albums very much. Enjoy.
Thursday, 7 April 2011
What a load of....
I keep sitting down, trying to write a blog post, failing, and giving up.
I'm not gonna do another "le blog est fini; adieu, mes amours". Those were silly, cos I ended up blogging again anyway. There just seems to be a lack of progress inOH MY GOODNESS I'M DOING A BLOG POST ABOUT NOT BLOGGING ENOUGH I'M SO SORRY
Sam D Grover
I'm not gonna do another "le blog est fini; adieu, mes amours". Those were silly, cos I ended up blogging again anyway. There just seems to be a lack of progress inOH MY GOODNESS I'M DOING A BLOG POST ABOUT NOT BLOGGING ENOUGH I'M SO SORRY
Sam D Grover
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
10 Fictional Places I'd Love to Live
This is a blog thingummy that has been done rather to death. I'm doing it anyway!
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. Noodle's Flying Windmill Island (Gorillaz' El Mañana and Feel Good, inc. videos)
Why? The idea of having the freedom to drift around the world, without the need to refuel! Powered by wind and the gently borrowed dreams of a thousand innocents, this ol' thing is economical as well as aesthetically pleasing.
Issue: Pirates. In helicopters.
2. Brightwood Tower (Fable II)
Why? Because it's a magical medieval-style tower that is imbibed with ancient magic, has lovely views, a great patio, and, as you can just about see in the above picture, apparently comes with beer. ALSO! When you sleep in
this bed, you are transported - while asleep - to a magical nightmare world where you become a child 
and have to fight monsters to appease a socio- and psychopathic treasure chest who just wants to be BFFs. Sweet!
Issue: The tower is surrounded by goblin things and highwaymen. Rubbish
3. Bag End (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings)
Why? Because it's a charming English cottage-cum-manor built into the side of a hill... in the Shire. In my head, the Shire is the idealised version of New Ash Green, my hometown.
Issue: I'm 6-foot-4, so those low doorways would get boring after a while.
4. Deep Space Nine (Star Trek: DS9)
Why? Because it's a massive space station. Because it's next to a wormhole populated with non-corporeal beings that leads half-way across the galaxy. Because it has holodecks.
Issue: It seems to have a huge death rate. Also, it's strategically placed between the Space Nazi Lizard Men and the Space Buddhist People, who are the Jews to the Space Nazi's regular Nazis. Smashing.
5. Edoras (The Lord of The Rings)
Why? Just look at it, darnit! Je voudrais habiter en Rohan, s'il vous plait: stunning mountains, huge plains, horses, spears, fancy helmets – what's not to like?
Issue: Dark wizard. Daaaarrk wizarrrd.
6. Rapture (Bioshock)
Why? I absolutely love Art Deco. An Art Deco underwater city just sounds so amazing, and Bioshock does an excellent job of realising one – whales and fish flit between buildings, as bright neon outshines the sea-filtered sunlight, while chrome and class walkways do the job of streets. Another cool thing: superpower vending machines. Hey-oh!
Issue: Said vending machines vend hypodermic needles full of gene-altering drugs that eventually send you mental.
7. The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)
Why? I don't understand the question.
Issue: what issue?
8. The Jenny Haniver (The Mortal Engines Quartet.)
Why? In a similar fashion to the windmill and the Falcon, this is to me the manifestation of earthly freedom. Airships have the unique ability to go wherever they like, with no restriction of terrain that you get with almost every other form of transport, and without restriction of liveability that you get with helicopters and planes – with an airship, you can go anywhere and live anywhere.
Issue: The anywhere that you can travel to in this airship is a post-apocalyptic world populated with mobile cities and zealous eco-terrorists, as well as the occasional Terminator.
9. Sanctaphrax (Edge Chronicles)
Why? It's a university on a floating rock with a dock for flying pirate ships, that's why.
Issue: everybody who lives there is a big ol' massive elitist. Sad times.
10. The TARDIS (Doctor Who)
Why? With this bad boy you can go anywhere and anywhen. It has a library, a swimming pool, a multi-story wardrobe – blamazing.
Issue: I can't actually think of one, though I suppose that it's pretty unstable sometimes
Geekery brought to you by
Sam D Grover
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